25.

Good morning, you awesome longlisted people! (:

This is a bleary-eyed, sleepy-headed Natashya writing to you from her dimly lit room all the way here in Penang, at 5:50 in the morning on a Sunday, wide & not-so-wide awake because my stomach is churning like... Something, so I decided to come on here & vent write a post.

In exactly 25 hours from now, I'll be walking through the musty fusty corridors of my school & walking up to my teacher's office, in which 51 copies of Stuff@school will be sitting on my teacher's desk, beckoning me to come forth & flip ravenously to the centrespread to see if my name, our names will be there.

At this point, though? Not so nervous anymore.

Yes, I was anxious. To the point of making myself physically sick, to the point of stalking S@S's Facebook page all day, everyday for quite some time now, just in case they released the shortlist earlier there, just in case an update on the shortlist came about... Just in case.

But after a whole week of worrying & pulling my hair out over the whole thing, I've come to realise that it isn't everything. Yes, getting into Starstruck! seems like everything, but even if I don't, life will go on. I'll go on to my first tests as a Fifth Former in March, go on to take my driving test (& tentatively, pass), fight on to the SPMs, graduate, & live.

But the nerves are definitely there; my previous jumbo-sized optimism & confidence has withered down to the size of a grain of sand, but by faith I'll say that it's a big grain of sand (As you can see, early mornings & blog posts don't mesh creativity-wise)?

So for the next 25 hours, I'll pull my hair out, pace around my room, talk to everyone & no one in particular, stalk the interwebs excessively, cross my fingers, pray like a ninja & somewhere, deep deep deep down inside of me, know that it'll be alright. Hopefully.

Wishing all of you the best too, yeah? I really hope we all get in so that we can have a super-big group hug (Or not) & talk all day about, erh, everything. You all are like family & I really, really hope that none of this will ever come to an end.

Peace out! Have a great Sunday (: